On Chivalry

Over the weekend, I was at my favorite sausage and gin joint and got involved in an animated discussion with my bartender friend (a lady) and Guy at the Bar. We were discussing who should pay on a first date. All three of us agreed that the dude should pay. Lady bartender and I agreed that the woman should always do the reach and/or offer but that a gentleman should not concede. I mean, I will back up my offer if allowed to do so, but chances are, unless you are my unicorn, we will probably not have a second date. It’s not about the money, it’s about the gesture and, in my experience, a pattern of behavior to come. With the caveat: if the girl is being rude and/or the date is a total disaster, both parties have the right to say “let’s split this?” I have offered to split the tab when I do not want to see someone again. But the honest truth is that ladies (in general; I wear pretty much the same makeup no matter where I am going because it’s the only kind I know how to do) spend 10x the cost of a coffee or drink getting gussied up for a date. Not to mention that putting on makeup is kind of a pain:

*As an aside: Guy at the Bar insisted on buying me a cocktail (it was 2pm on a Sunday but what the hell) and then asked me out. He was physically attractive, but there will be no date because he was way too young; I draw the line at 32 35 these days. God forbid I be labeled a cougar (or as my friend I says, “puma,” a slightly younger cougar). Plus, he pulled a Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde, to the point where I thought he most likely was on something; not that one has to be high on drugs to ask me out. At least I hope not. But because after my friend F arrived to join us, he clammed up and actually moved down to the very end of the bar. F joked that she was man repellent but I’m 95% sure his cocaine/speed just wore off. Unfortunately, when I am put on the spot, I don’t know how to not give out my number. I didn’t learn from onlybadchi’s experience…

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